Season Spells
There was a time, really not decades back, as Years Went.
I’m leaving words at the start of the month as the year’s final rambling. Here’s something as insignificant as words and music I listened upon when I didn’t notice it was close to my story in having a lot of emotions of a mess. Because it describes how it feels warm and receive to the hidden way quite far away heavy inside, as if the piece has been put in melancholy, all I have are words that have been saving my energy to keep myself write as the thing as I can’t figure forth its ways out of phases that should be managed better moment by moment. However, it is not a waste. I’m still trying to remember every detail of the situations I’m in. And, in these crowded times, one of the best ways to start the day is through reliving about the day I saw through my eyes.
Because my eyes had been opened and I was ready to face anything.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve let go of the need to develop permanent-better habits. It’s straightforward. However, I believe that simple things are not always easy and simple. I didn’t like the breakfast time because I didn’t feel all that great when I tasted it. Other times, I cut a lot of sugar till I had enough to have a good ‘eating habit’ and I felt good about filtering myself. That’s not discipline; it is futile self-torture and unhealthy resistance to change, isn’t it? As time passes, those things that are eventually unknowable will matter without a second thought, closing a chapter on the past. Accept that some days, all of little things that happen can provide my value, making me someone who is heartless. But it was words that reminded me of things I’d buried that made my heart wise. Then it’s as if my narrow mind widens.
Like before, I’m doing just fine, I’ve realized that I need to change my ways of avoiding a bunch of a late breakfasts. The impact of not being able to fully control myself grows as a result of necessity. But I’ve always found it hard to realize that I don’t see how it can be turn out to be something that matters in the end. Right now, like every day, I presented by the question, “Would my future self be happy with this?” And as things unfold, I will accept that, that being in so fulfilled energized is quite incredible. Like right now, rebuilding energy to leave the house in the morning to feel the breeze of the air, ride a bicycle, meet someone for the first time, do a street feeding to animals, and the limits of the world in the way it can happen. And now, words can say “Let’s try!” Even if I don’t like my body, it will take care of itself, and the support I provided through words like, “Breakfast is important!” from the doctor led me back to the thing, “Nonetheless, I am frail.” And I wish I could hold it tightly to as a way to practice self-care, I mean: feeding myself a bowl of rice.
Thus, I see that there’s always more to life than meets the eye.
Pieces of stardust, I aesthetically pleasing because when I was a kid, I treasured the good times and memories and held them close to my heart. I smile and laugh, and I’ve learned to send paragraphs to things and people I’ve loved and wondering if I’ll ever get the same in return. Perhaps a love is so sweet, it captures ‘a few happy reminiscences from the past.’ Within those lifetimes, in my story and the stories of others, I stand witness to the fact that people live and exist through moments. Remember how people and I had to fall in love for someone, especially when our love for them was so pure and innocent, we forget about everything else, “What am I in someone’s heart?” We can sometimes love too much, especially when it comes to good times; a kid’s memory, which could explain why it’s so difficult to move on; to let go at the end, perhaps? However, at the end of the day, people change as time passes. At the end of the phrase of memories, “To be loved is to be held.” But it captures that something is not right, and it says, “Thank you for letting go.”
With all the changing times, shattered dreams, heartaches, and lost love, it’s acceptable to be wiser to emotion through growing and are better. Be patient to one’s recovery, dress differently, and exhale slowly.
Human nature, as wise people say, yearns for love. I’ve romanticized the concept of love in everything I’ve done; it’s one of my favorite things to think about when I’m with someone, I can just spend hours talking before falling asleep tightly. I did this until everything inside from me was relieved, such to the moment in which I worked long hours by having to release ideas as a pure part of growing up while feeling tears of joy. We see, listen, know, feel, accept, and happily become distracted in the beauty of connection as a private moment until we realize that our place is simply to be there, even if only for a night. It’s been a good time when I’ve been expected to realize that I might need other people and I’ve learned to be a person to someone else even if I never see the person in person. I see, it had everything but other than love.
And I’d say that the timing of people’s appearances in my life is always perfect.
Looking back on almost everything, I discover that it all happened for the best. Concerning myself, others, and the world as a whole. I just found myself in this almost anything as it passed as in a beam over each soul of conversation. Often when, it is truly mine with my insufficient thoughts to think that “The best would be on that way before,” because we may not be prepared to understand anything after in fact. But if there’s anything worth fighting for, there’s no harm in trying, so let’s improve. I wish more chances, a second chance, better days, and warm feelings. As it happens, messes and ramblings; I’d say that often disappearing is what I need to find what my heart wants to feel within a space like home by another chance not to feel unlucky. I’d apologize myself for being so concerned, for worrying so much but still wishing to stay worth another try.
Sharpen my lonely journey; as quiet as it appears, my own space offers soft comfort. I see every detail of the manifestation of my deepest desires onto the things that I desired; peace. Sometimes there’s a beauty in knowing when to stop worrying to everything I can’t control inside because I’m lacking anything that I truly require in life. As well as I thought I’d lost, that special thing in hopes is still what I hope will come true. Mixes with the smell of spirit and soul, was exhausted, going through this phase, and finding them. Rather, how heartless and entrapped I was, and how I wished I had been kinder, I aim for things to grow and mature, as well as for myself.
I was acutely aware of it, as if my soul had been loud. Where I’d like to feel as if I’ve truly poured my heart out, without recalling anything better that has occurred. To rediscover my voice in every back of the mind even after several ages, I type and survive on my desk because words would never let me go. I was the one who lost the person in I; it tells everything about reality by the soul how things were done the same way they were done and still faces the fact that there was nothing. I didn’t realize how much further I’d progressed until, I looked only at past phases of my life and realized how harmful a few things had been, and I was treated accordingly. Cringing at my past self as a kid, I want you to know one thing. Looks me in the eyes and embraces grace every waking moment as wonderful piece of growth, it’s just a piece of me that I’d like want to recapture, and begin to express the identity of my heart:
“I wish I hadn’t lost my scent of cure through each breath I take as a human.” The fact that there is still a part of every human that wishes for better times.
Entirety of their being, intensity, perfectly understood whether the truth is still be perceived as a as a curse wrenched onto the thing I tried that touched my passivity. Profoundly I could find a crumb that explained years in every action count; ages to rise to replant bushes of gentle soul in every silent scream. A fresh heartbeat to my heartstrings was always mine to keep. In my hands, where all words are born, I love to turn them out and forget about how everything feels. And changes occur solely as a result of mistakes and victories that were not often untrue in the way feelings were. Even when it felt dark, I could tell people and myself that we were hopeless, broke, or rushing. It arises, and it’s okay. We are capable of breathing far and allowing emotion to appear as what our deepest hearts feel is valid. Lesson learned: don’t impose anything that isn’t worth fighting for.
As flowing as whirlwind brushing each human hair, whose flows remind me that cycling is always spinning through times, alive through moments. There is always an essence who desires of a soft page time on earth and fulfills the cruelest routes to carry a precious grace. Never equate softness to things; it is powerful enough to live reality and beliefs. After all, sketch it on in layer upon layer in which mercy begs to earth, and rambling falls like plants.
I ever told myself, “Do you remember that unhappiness won’t break you easily?”
The truth be told, there is a huge part of mine it’s not as special as it should be, ain’t nothing but emotion falls in my room seat that presents grief, anxious, nonsense, anger, and reckless in every little action counts. During this exhausting, hung on early rounds so far that always come later, I remember laughing at everyone without cheers. But a lot of things were left behind, and I thought I had been ready to figure this out and could be fully prepared to face everything, and I wouldn’t break easily even for a day. In any case, time flies and memories fade, plants grow, dusts fly, and everything spins; they are just a lesson I put into words, imagination, and reflection once upon a time. Lately, it’s been there’s no fine but else that comes to mind.
There’s nothing prettier than a December evenings over. I thought I was mature enough to be standing where I planned to be in the face of my greatest fear. I hope it didn’t take me too long to realize that I’d have to be prepared to face every awakened thought every day and let everything within years in to feel better than before and root for what comes next.
One’s own unease grows stronger as one hangs alone, strive alone, like with the river that flows on its own beneath the stones.
When inquietude fades, I attached it to hope as if it were forever. At last, there was nothing but fear. And I just stay me from myself. I romanticized everything, typing words, and conceal broke but it saves me. I’ve gotten back into feeling as if I have grown up, yet I’ve taking note of adulting things that I decide to overcome, break and fix, cut and sew it back, differently. Just like the words I’ll type after this, “Then you would understand.”
Likewise, the growths around me say the same thing: it doesn’t take long for every disquieting word can be said before I realize it.
Once again, do you remember that unhappiness won’t break you easily? This year, you, too, dedicated a lot of drive. And your heart will never have to make a fuss of everything that unfolded to you.
S.
